Adultwork or Vivastreet?
In this podcast transcript, the delightful Kayley talks to me about getting started, BDSM, Adultwork* vs Vivastreet and the different clients you get and much more.
To listen to the recording, click here.
Otherwise, happy reading.
Vivastreet: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Vivastreet podcast live on the line on Skype. We have the delicious Kayley, Kayley how are you this morning?
Kayley: Hi, I’m okay, how about you?
Vivastreet: Yes, it’s Monday morning, it’s a quarter to 11, and we’re going to start talking about escorting which seems perfect to me. Now a lot of people when I meet them at a dinner party or in the pub or whatever, will think that escort, or if you read the Daily Mail, will think that escorting is a trafficked Eastern European. You don’t sound particularly Eastern European or trafficked so tell us a bit about yourself.
Kayley: Yeah, I’m definitely not a trafficked Eastern European, let’s put it that way. I am British born and bred. I’m in my mid-twenties. I’m actually a graduate from a good university which completely goes against whatever the Daily Mail thinks.
Vivastreet: It certainly does.
Kayley: And I do have other work as well as this so I do this part-time. I’ve been doing it for probably about three months now and I don’t look like an Eastern European supermodel. I’m kind of a regular girl next door.
Vivastreet: Okay, so what made you consider escorting?
Kayley: Well it’s a mixture of things. I mean obviously there’s always monetary concerns, there’s always something that will tip the balance, but I actually think it fits in with my personality. I’m a little bit of a submissive, I always have been. Before I started escorting I was on other types of scenes like the BDSM scene and I did dabble a little bit in swinging with the previous boyfriend. I like adventure and I like exploring my city and meeting new people. I also have an incredibly high sex drive which no civilian partner has been able to keep up with which I think helps in escorting to be fair. There’s a lot of things, I really do enjoy it, and I think it fits in with my life.
Vivastreet: So how did you get started in it all Kayley?
Kayley: Well first of all there was a couple of things. First of all, previous boyfriends had joked that is something I should maybe do and I was doing swinging and there was one night where I got a little bit carried away in a local swinging club and I had a little bit of an audience.
Kayley: And I was quite enjoying myself and somebody made a fly away comment of saying, “You know you should be getting paid for this.” And it kind of stuck in my head and I thought, “Maybe?” And then I was in the middle of then I wanted to change my job and I thought a good thing to do would be to sign up to a rather popular site called Adultwork.
Vivastreet: Never heard of it, never heard of it.
Kayley: You’ve never heard of it? Never heard of it at all.
Kayley: I signed up to do that and put a couple of pictures up and I immediately got asked if I would do escorting. One night I was a bit bored and I thought, “Why not?”
Vivastreet: How did you work out how much to charge and things like that? Was that from Saafe or …
Kayley: No, it wasn’t from Saafe, prices can vary in different parts of the country. What I did was I had to look on Vivastreet and Adultwork. I had to look at what different people were charging for the area, worked out an average, and worked out what I would want to offer in terms of services, and what was sort of a relevant price to charge. Also looked at girls who were probably quite similar to me in terms of body type and the type of things that they were wanting to offer. Because I think in terms of pricing, it’s more important to look at who is out there, how much is average for the area, and also what you’re willing to do.
I decided quite early on that I didn’t want to offer extras and such and make people pay extra so I decided that I would stick with what I knew I was good at and what I personally enjoyed. Because my thought is that if I’m going to be enjoying my time, the person I’m with is going to enjoy it too because my enthusiasm will come out in what I’m doing. So therefore I don’t think it’s fair for my sort of work to charge for extras, it’s all included. That is reflected in my price.
Vivastreet: Then you don’t have to have the difficult conversation with, “Oh that’s an extra whatever quid and whatever.”
Kayley: No, because at the end of the day everybody’s on the same page at the very beginning. They know what’s on the table and they know what isn’t. I think that’s quite a good model to work form.
Vivastreet: Obviously three months in you had looked on Saafe, but where are you advertising now and how did you work out or learn where to advertise?
Kayley: One of the first things that I did was obviously I started off advertising Adultwork because I was doing the phone chat on there. I pried a look and I think most important thing for people who is starting up and actually it sounds very simple but put into Google your area plus escort and see what’s the first couple of things that come up when you search. Because if you think about it from a client’s perspective, some of them might never have hired an escort before so what they’re going to do is they’re going to search for their area plus escort. Or if you’re something that’s a little bit different, so say you are a curvy girl or something, then maybe you put that in plus escort and see what comes up. And those sites that are on the first page are probably the ones that you should have a look at advertising. I mean for example, I search in my area, I’m in Leeds.
When you do Leeds plus escort, Vivastreet is the first hit on the page so that’s going to be the first place that people are going to come to. That’s how I came on to Vivastreet very shortly afterwards was looking at that. Another place to look is probably look on Saafe because there’s a lot of very good advice on good places to advertise, especially regionally as well. Because there will be some websites that you might not know. Now, some people will set up their own website. I haven’t done that myself because I like to be a little bit more discrete and plus I think I get enough traffic because I do it part-time. I get enough traffic from Vivastreet and Adultwork and I am on a couple of other sites as well but I find from them I do get enough traffic, but different things might work for different people.
Vivastreet: I hear some girls might have one phone for each website or different numbers in order to work out which advertising is working more effectively for them. Have you got that far in three months or are you just happy with the level of business that those websites are bringing in?
Kayley: Not really. I tend to have my phone number on display on Vivastreet more than I do Adultwork. Adultwork I tend to get more e-mails so I tend to know and people are very happy. I do tend to ask people where have you heard of me from and they will tell you, “Oh I saw you on Vivastreet” or “I saw you on Adultwork.” So I do know that a lot of my traffic where it comes from and it generally does come from one of those sites. I would say Vivastreet is first and Adultwork is second.
Vivastreet: Do you find a difference between the types of people that come from Vivastreet or Adultwork?
Kayley: Yes, I would say that Adult work tends to be people who have been escorting for a while which is how they know about Adultwork because it doesn’t come up high up on any of the search categories, especially for my area. They tend to be people who have hired a few escorts before. Vivastreet you get a wider range of people because I get a lot of traffic from Vivastreet. You do get lots of different kinds of people. For example, I would say on average Adult work tends to be a little bit older while people on Vivastreet tend to be a bit younger or they tend to be people who have not hired an escort before. I’ve met some really lovely people that wouldn’t have come across if I had only advertised on Adultwork. Obviously, with Vivastreet it is more about having a conversation over the phone with them because some people might not have hired an escort before, might not know what the actual etiquette is.
Vivastreet: Right, makes sense.
Kayley: Yeah, so I think there is a difference between them but you know variety is the spice of life isn’t it?
Vivastreet: Absolutely, talking about variety, what was your best booking that you’ve had in the last three months and what made it good?
Kayley: That’s hard because I have a lot of very good bookings.
Vivastreet: It’s not like choosing between children, you can have a favourite booking. You don’t have to name them.
Kayley: Can I have a couple of favourites?
Vivastreet: Yeah, okay you can have two.
Kayley: I can have two? I would say there would be one I would have a soft spot for because I do have a couple of lovely regulars. Obviously, when they keep coming back you get to know their likes and dislikes. Sometimes things just work and it might not be somebody that you would have say picked up from a bar in your civil life, but you find in the bedroom that you’re very, very similar in your likes and dislikes. I had one lately where it just went form one thing to another thing and it actually fell into a fetish that I’ve always wanted to take part in in my own life. That was very, very interesting and I really enjoyed it which is one good thing about doing escorting is the fact that sometimes you do find yourself getting a little bit carried way and enjoying what you’re doing a lot more than you think you would. You get a lot of experiences that you might not otherwise. Then of course you get the ones that are nice and spoil you rotten.
Vivastreet: We love them.
Kayley: Well you know, I’m never going to turn down some nice chocolate or some perfume.
Vivastreet: Absolutely, absolutely, why should you? You advertise submissive services, is this something that you enjoy in your civvy life and how did you work out how to tie it professionally because a lot of sub stuff has to do with trust. If you don’t know the guy, how does that really work out?
Kayley: I would say for my sub bookings there is a lot more security protocol that you have to go through. First of all, I do insist on talking quite a bit. You have to establish because a lot of guys they want to try BDSM and I know that there’s not as many girls are offering these services, especially in my area. You’ve got to establish first of all there is a difference between playing safe DBSM. As somebody just please excuse my language, want’s to beat the crap out of a girl, you have to establish which one it is first of all for your own safety. I do often what I would call a beginners BDSM session. So anybody that comes to me and says, “I want to try this, I haven’t tired it before.” I’ll say, “Right, okay, that’s fair enough.” What I will do is I will bring if it’s impact play or spanking I’ll say, “I will bring whatever is necessary.” If they want to try a flogger or a paddle or anything like that, but just be award that the first sort of 10 minutes we’re going to talk through playing safe. I’m going to show you how you do it and then that way whether yo hire me or not in the future, I know that you’re going out there and playing safe.
Vivastreet: It’s like a beautiful education process for people as well then.
Kayley: Yeah, but with a happy ending at the end. I feel that to me is kind of almost doing something good for the world.
Kayley: Some guys they’ll play with a girl who doesn’t actually know what she’s doing and it might go a bit too far because they haven’t established things like safe words. And it’s not always that the guy means for it to go too far, it’s that they haven’t learnt how to play safe. I think it’s fair to kind of point out to guys, “Look, at the end of the day it is on some level for supposed to be enjoyable of the sub as well as the dom. Although you’re the one that’s dominant, the submissive needs to be perimeters set.” At the end of the day, the submissive is really in control because they have chosen you, they have chosen to submit. And this is something that can sometimes be hard for people to get their heads around. What were you going to say, sorry?
Vivastreet: No, it’s also the physical aspect of it, the floggers, and crops, and canes, and paddles, or whatever are intended to hurt somebody. So if you’re a guy that’s not tired it out before, you don’t know how hard, how much strength you need to apply using a flogger to cut the skin or whatever. There’s that aspect of it as well I imagine.
Kayley: Yeah, and that’s part of what I will talk them though. The one thing I will say, especially if there is spanking, if they’re say a longer booking, if you’re going to do a few sharp hard smacks and their designed to really hurt and that’s part of your role play, then fair enough. But if somebody is wanting a good, long spanking session for say half a and hour to an hour, they need to learn the correct techniques. You’ve got to build a girl up, otherwise the longevity of the scene is not going to be very long at all. These sort of things is what you need to talk people though. I would also say that you need to talk through scenes first. I mean because it’s not all about impact playing and doing things like humiliation, things like that. You need to establish ground rules at the beginning, what is acceptable, what isn’t acceptable as part of the scene, and that way you’re not going to be stuck in the scene halfway through.
You can immerse yourself in it and you can both enjoy yourselves because I’m a submissive myself so this type of thing does turn me on in my personal life. I have been a submissive for a lot longer than I’ve been an escort which is probably why I feel comfortable offering those services. the one thing I would say is, and this is something that I think is sensible, is I will say to people who want to do this, “First session, not everything is going to be on the table. It will be quite a tame session.” Because like you said at the beginning, you’ve got to establish trust. So there’s certain things I wouldn’t do in a first booking. For example, in my personal life, I want rope and I want anything, but the idea of me being sort of restrained with somebody who I don’t know …
Vivastreet: It could go horribly wrong couldn’t it? Yeah.
Kayley: It could go horribly wrong so that’s something that you have to build up trust. Same as with things like gags which are obviously something that can be parts of a scene, that’s something that would have to be negotiated and I probably wouldn’t offer it on a first booking. There’s things like that you do to keep yourself safe.
Vivastreet: No, of course. Safety is of the upmost consideration for any escort, let alone a submissive one. What advice would you give to anyone that is thinking about … because we get a lot of comments on the blogs and lots of emails from girls that are thinking about doing it but don’t know what to do in order to get started. What advice would you give people?
Kayley: I would say first of all to make sure have a good think about whether you have the personality to be put out for it because not everybody it cut out for escorting. I mean it depends on what you want to offer, but personally I think it isn’t just about offering sex. In order for you to enjoy escorting, I think you need to have a wide definition of beauty to start off with. You need to be able to find a lot of people attractive and I generally do. That’s one of the things that I think is great about this role. Also, I think one of the important things is that you’re intuitive with people.
Vivastreet: Just generally?
Kayley: Yeah. I think you’re going to give people a better experience if you’re good with people, you can converse with people from different walks of life, and you’re prepared to do that. But also, that intuition is one of the most important things you have in terms of keeping yourself safe because at the end of the day, if you feel that something is not quite right with the booking or you’re talking with somebody on the phone about a booking and you’re thinking, “Hang on. This person isn’t quite safe.” Trust your instincts because they are the most important things to keep you safe. The other thing I would say is to always have some safety precautions in place. For example, I use safety calls for out calls I generally do have a driver that is somebody that I know.
Vivastreet: For people who don’t know or are new, what’s a safety call?
Kayley: Make sure somebody knows where you are. I predominately do out calls so for example, you’ll be going to somebody’s hotel, let somebody know who knows what you do. And if you don’t have somebody in your personal life that you can do that with, there are things in place if you look on Safe where you can let somebody know where you are. So for example, before you turn up to a hotel, you should know what the hotel room is, you should know what hotel it is, where you’re meeting them, and basically any information you have about them. What you need to do when you turn up to a hotel room, once you have the money you should give your security call a quick call to let them know that you’re safe and you make sure that you let them know the time it’s supposed to end. And it’s an agreed time after the end of the booking if they’ve not heard from you, to give you a call, and you can let them know if the booking is being extended or something like that. It’s just something to keep you safe so somebody knows where you are just in case you do have a bad booking.
Vivastreet: There’s that and then you mentioned about having a driver.
Kayley: Yeah, well I know a lot of girls don’t but I do for out calls, especially if it’s somebody’s house. It’s not like I’ve just hired some random off the street. I do have a friend who acts as my driver so he will drop me off and pick me up. He knows where I am, where I’m going, and that’s something that I do personally to keep myself safe. Absolutely, safety is paramount to me. Some people might take more risks than I do, but that’s something that I do that makes me feel better about what it is that I do and to keep me safe. The other thing that I would say is important to do is read Safe. There is a lot of information there on keeping yourself safe and a lot of information along the grey sites of the job as well. Also, sign up to Ugly Mugs which I know Vivastreet does a lot with.
Check phone numbers on clients that ring you up to make sure that they haven’t been a dodgy booking before. I would say another thing that is probably important is always make sure that you talk to clients on the phone first. If somebody won’t talk to you on the phone first for five minutes before a booking, I would wonder what it is they’re trying to hide. Because that’s the best way to find out whether somebody is who they say they ware and you can tell a lot about people on the phone. I would think that anybody that was wanting to make a genuine booking would not have an issue at a prearrange time calling you for five minutes. Because it helps break the ice as well for them.
Vivastreet: Of course it does. Yeah, yeah.
Kayley: I mean that’s all the serious stuff.
Vivastreet: No, the serious stuff I think is really important. It’s really important. That’s why we do the work with Ugly Mugs. And on the nest episode, Alex, the CEO of Ugly Mugs, is coming on to be interviews so that will be good. But apart from the serious stuff, is there any other advice you’d give somebody?
Kayley: I would say be open minded, be friendly, and good communication goes a long way. Just remember that the people that you come across in escorting, they’re people, they’re not just customers. I think just treat people as you would like to be treated and I think you go a long way.
Vivastreet: That sounds perfect. So if somebody wants to book as you say a girl next door, ordinary type of lady in Leeds who might having her butt spanked, whereabouts can they find more about you?
Kayley: Well first of all, if you are in the Leeds area, I am on Vivastreet.
Kayley: I’m not featured so you might have to scroll a couple of pages down but I am there. And I have an Adultwork account.
Vivastreet: What about social media, do you do the Tweeting thing?
Kayley: No, I don’t because I do prefer to be a little bit more discrete. I do have an email address that you can email me on.
Vivastreet: Go on then, what’s that?
Kayley: Can I give that?
Vivastreet: Yeah, give it out.
Kayley: It’s Midori, that’s M-I-D-O-R-I C-H-A-N and then Leeds @gmail.com
Vivastreet: There we go, perfect. Well thank you ever so much indeed for your time Kayley. I really appreciate it. It was super fun chatting with you and I’m sure we’ll get you back on in the future.
Kayley: Okay, I’ve enjoyed it as well. Thank you.
*Adultwork the website, not the adult work category of Vivastreet