The swinging lifestyle might be associated with lots of sexual fun, but most swingers agree that swingers are actually more likely to stay married for longer than those couples who don’t engage in consensual non-monogamy, as if you needed another argument in favour of the swinging lifestyle. While swinging is still considered a bit on the taboo side to the more conservative set, it is gaining more and more mainstream appeal, and there is more and more evidence in favour of the lifestyle.
Most older societies had some form of non-monogamy, even dating back to the Old Testament when Jacob had to marry Leah before being able to marry her little sister Rachel, and the three lived as a happy family for many years.
Perhaps these ancient societies had some insight as to the best type of relationship style years before this study was even conceived! Since then, swinging and non-monogamous lifestyles have seen a resurgence since 1950, when some soldiers and veterans would “take care” of the wives of their fallen comrades, which harkens back to ancient days when husbands would take care of the widows of their friends. Then the sexual liberation of the 1960s and 70s opened peoples’ minds to a whole new era of non-monogamous relationships.
Modern divorce rates are pretty high, around 50%, which means that 1 in 2 marriages will fail, and some analysts believe that the reason why many of these divorces fail has to do with the strict concept of monogamy that has developed in our society. Shame and fear leads partners to secretly cheat on each other.
Perhaps this is why wives are more likely than husbands to file for divorce; a fact, which many believe, is influenced by a high rate of male infidelity in relationships. In fact, wives initiate nearly 70% of divorces, while husbands initiate just 30% of the time. When cheating occurs in monogamous relationships, the faithful partner often blames the other one for their dishonest actions, which tends to end any relationship abruptly. Whether or not either partner in that situation is wrong is not up to any of us, but it does seem that swingers have found a way to have their sexual urges help their relationships rather than hurt them, leading to higher rates of marriage success.
The swinger lifestyle offers both partners the opportunity to satisfy the desires they have for other people, while strengthening their relationship by building trust and improving communication, both of which are required to successfully navigate this lifestyle choice. With swinging, both partners are not afraid of telling their partner about their desires or urges, and they’re also not afraid to act on them within whatever boundaries have been set for the relationship. In addition, with cheating, anything is possible. The cheating partner might fall in love with someone else, or they could just be having a fling, but the other partner has no idea.
However, with swinging, partners usually have an agreement as to the level of emotional involvement with partners. Most swingers like to keep things on the surface level, and have their other relationships remain physical. Some in the lifestyle credit this preference for the preservation of their marriages, while others feel confident enough in their primary relationship to become friends or even a little bit more with their swinging pals. Most swingers believe that there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun on the side — but the crime is when you lie about it. They just get rid of that crime by being open and honest with each other!
If you’re interested in trying this fun lifestyle,