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What is BDSM

What is BDSM?

50 Shades of BDSM

Let’s cover the basics.

What does BDSM stand for?

Bondage, Domination, Submission and Masochism.

Bondage is being tied up or restrained. Domination is having control or power over someone. Submission is the act of accepting or yielding to someone else. Masochism is deriving pleasure from inflicting pain on someone else.
But usually, it refers to bondage sex or bondage porn. A lot of people are also interested in lesbian bondage – and probably lesbian bondage porn – where it’s very unlikely the stars are actually lesbians anyway!

BDSM is a form of play power

To get into the idea that it is about power and control rather than sex, I recommend watching Secretary. It’s a mainstream Hollywood movie about a sadomasochistic relationship between boss and his secretary. OK, sure there is some BDSM sex in the movie, but it’s much more about the power he has over her.

Go and watch the film and then come back.

Finished? OK, great.

So you’re on Vivastreet so maybe you want a BDSM date? Many London escorts offer domination or submission services but be warned a true Domme will not be into bondage sex, BDSM sex, or submission sex. They are more into just the control/submission aspect of BDSM.

You may have more success looking at an amateur BDSM website if you want to actually have full sex during your BDSM play.
BDSM

How to get into BDSM?

Extreme BDSM is certainly not for the uninitiated. It takes the control aspect to a new level. It is about trust, explicit trust. It can, in some cases, be very dangerous – for example, knife play could really be dangerous. Or even hardcore spanking like you see in some BDSM porn could be dangerous unless your partner knows what they are doing. Welts and cuts are something some people find desirable, but if you’re new to BDSM and sex and submission, it could well be a step too far to start with. No need to draw blood at your first outing.

Instead, you could just start out experimenting with blindfolds. When one sense is removed, it heightens your other senses. So when you don’t know where someone will touch you next, or what they are going to touch  you with, it can drive you cray cray. In a good way. Also, switching out a paddle and a feather when you’re blindfolded can be an amazing experience. Are you going to be tickled, or spanked? It’s this not knowing that makes the experience into some kind of BDSM art, almost.

Once you’ve started out in this gentle way…watched some BDSM porn or bondage porn, done some light spanking and restraints, be warned! This is a very addictive road to travel down. One minute you’re having truly vanilla sex the next you are hog tied with a ball gag and a butt plug inside you screaming for your BDSM queen to hit you harder.

Finding BDSM stories online

If you want to dip a toe there are BDSM stories you can find online that talk about BDSM dating, lesbian bondage, even gay BDSM if that is something that floats your boat. By reading this kind of BDSM porn, you can see what tickles your fancy and work out what kind of things you might like to try out in the real world.

If you want to experiment with this kind of play, but find it hard (that’s what she said) to ask a partner if they want to join in, you’ll find many professional ladies and gentlemen on Vivastreet that will be more than happy to spank you or be spanked. To restrain you, or to let you tie them up and live out your darkest BDSM fantasies in exchange for some cold, hard cash.

Finding a playmate

If you can find a playmate, then there are lots of fetish clubs throughout the UK where you can go and play in public. This is a real turn on for most people. The clubs are full of like-minded people and have fully equipped dungeons and playrooms where you can try out things you might not have at home. Special spanking benches, crosses, and all sorts. I took a friend to one once and she was wearing just a latex dress with nothing underneath. I tied her to a cross, whipped, paddled and spanked her arse. We were in a world of our own. Then I realised 30 or so people were watching us and whispered to her to let her know. It really turned her on. I turned her round so she could see them, then played with her until she came to a shuddering climax. It was one of the hottest things either of us have ever done. Doing that kind of naughty play in public is incredibly sexy and if you can find a willing partner, wholly recommended.

One last piece of advice

The important thing is really that you read up and research as much as you can before you start dabbling in BDSM sex. Education is power. And power can be oh so sexy…

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