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Top Ten Worst Dates as an Escort

Been on a bad date? We’ve all been there. In fact some escorts recently shared their dating horror stories.

Was your date worse than any of these?…

The Weeper

“He seemed very sweet, a bit shy, I get a lot of guys like that. But after one beer and half an hour of basic getting-to-know-you chat he started offloading about a traumatic childhood experience and cried. Like, really cried. Full-blown sobbing with snot and everything. People at a nearby table actually brought him tissues.”

The Cheapskate

“Sometimes new clients chance their luck and ask for a cheeky discount but one guy watched every penny. We’d arranged to meet at a bar and go for dinner, standard stuff, but he would only get tap water in the bar then led me on 40 minute walk across Liverpool instead of getting a cab for dinner, which turned out to be a sweaty, limp packed lunch he pulled out of his bag – unbelievable!”

The Drama Queen

“I work out and am quite a big guy. It’s why my female clients like me so much. But a regular (who is not one anymore) had a habit of having one spritzer too many and picking fights with anyone and everyone and expecting me to step in. The last time I saw her she was being put in the back of a police car after picking a fight with an off-duty copper.”

The Talker

“Part of my success as a male escort comes from being a good listener but I was with this woman who just wouldn’t shut up. I don’t like to judge but I can see why no-one’s stuck around long enough to get in an actual relationship with her, earache.com! She barely drew breath and after hours of nodding and pretending to be interested I couldn’t take it anymore so I said I was going to the bathroom and did a runner. My bad.”

The One with a Friend

“I’d arranged for a new client to meet me at my favourite hotel and he turned up with a friend who was introduced as, “This is my mate. He’s cool. He’s got money.” I congratulated his friend and suggested he go and find himself an escort willing to take his cash.”

The Confessor

“I work as TV escort for men and women. One male client was fascinated by my beauty routine – it happens a lot – and confessed he’d always wanted to go out dressed as a woman. Fair enough. But one confession opened a floodgate of others and he got real enthusiastic about scat. I pulled a face. I couldn’t help it, and he became really abusive and started yelling, ‘Man in drag! Man in drag!’ in a crowded bar. Mortified.”

The Racist

“You’d think people who book escorts are pretty open-minded but I went out with a man who hated everyone and spent most of the evening talking about the problem with (in his words), “Muslims/blacks and fatties,” I gave him his money back, went home early to my black husband and got a curry.”

The Hedonist

“Never go out with someone who describes themselves as a ‘hedonist.’ What they mean is “addict” who will go to the bathroom every ten minutes and do anything to get you to join them.”

The Rescuer

“A really polite woman got in touch to book me for an afternoon and I was looking forward to it. When we met, she was wearing kind of old-fashioned clothes but I thought nothing of it till she showed me her rosary and started telling me about God’s love for me. Worst. Date. Ever.”

The Anaphylactic

“Sometimes you just can’t predict when a date will go bad. I was on Glasgow Green with a guy. Things were going well but then his lips and eyes started swelling up and he collapsed, @%$#!! I called an ambulance who wanted his details; name, address, medical history, what he’d eaten, whether he’d been stung… All I could tell them was that his name was possibly, Paul.”

Do any of those nightmare dates make you feel better about your own?! If you have a bad date experience you’d like to share, we’d love to hear it so feel free to add it in the comments below.

For more stories or advice on how to deal with troublesome clients or any other sort of escort issue, check out the latest features right here in After Dark UK.

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