Preparing for a massage does not mean asking for a bed bath.
Aromatherapy oils are there to help you relax, not to mask your BO.
A hand massage is not a hand-job.
You night have great thumbs but this is not a two-way thing. I do the massaging. We do not take turns.
When you ask for a ‘Happy Ending’ are you referring to Disney or something else?
No, your colon does not need a massage. You need a colonic or a GP or something else altogether.
Sex noises should be reserved for your inner monologue.
‘Deep Tissue’ is not a euphemism.
Yes, a ‘professional masseuse’ does mean I graduated with actual skills.
The ultimate massage technique is Spock’s Vulcan Death Grip but using it is forbidden. Shame.
It’s not supposed to hurt. You don’t get a refund for not feeling like you’ve been slammed by a steamroller.
Nudity is perfectly acceptable, yours, not mine.
No I don’t want to be in your ‘massage selfie.’
It’s OK to tell me what you want. It’s not OK to tell me how to do my job.
Just assume that I think your tattoos are epic, we don’t need to actually talk about them.
Ask for some work on your piriformis or glutes. Don’t say, ‘Rub my butt.’
Erections are actually a compliment.
Ironically, so are farts.
But going to sleep is the best compliment a client can pay…
Unless it’s a tip. Tips are always welcome.